I don't have much to say today.
I have made mistakes lately and I'm not too proud of them.
But, I have no regrets.
My mind has been dwelling in the past a lot lately.
How do I make it stop?
Please..make it stop.
I've been accused of things I have not done.
And I've been suffering the consequences of being loyal.
It makes no sense, I know.
But, what can I do but try and try again to get my point across?
*Sigh* Lord, save me from what I fear I might become.
No one.
11/22/2010
11/19/2010
"Overdrive"
The way you've been acting
Is not that of a friend
I recall that you once said
Our love could never end
But when we are close
You hesitate and turn away
Ripping wounds in my emotion
Leading to my heart's decay
But nothing you say
And nothing you do
Can ever provoke me
To despise you
Chorus: It's kind of like a movie
The ending brings a tear
I watch you go your separate way
While memories stay near
My dear
I know you too well
For such an evil emotion to
Overcome me
About you
You mean too much
I care so much
About you
I want so badly for you
I can't take much more of this
I need you by my side
So we can share a love once shared
It can never hurt to try
Chorus
A time to cry
A time to die
Emotions going into
Overdrive
You're faced with fear of hurt
Of losing someone you love
Remember you can turn to me
Because...
It was I who
Really loved and really cared
Remember it was I who
you loved despite your fear
Chorus
A time to cry
A time to die
Emotions going into
Overdrive
A time to dream
A time to scream
Emotions yearning to be
Free
Chorus x2 fade out
Is not that of a friend
I recall that you once said
Our love could never end
But when we are close
You hesitate and turn away
Ripping wounds in my emotion
Leading to my heart's decay
But nothing you say
And nothing you do
Can ever provoke me
To despise you
Chorus: It's kind of like a movie
The ending brings a tear
I watch you go your separate way
While memories stay near
My dear
I know you too well
For such an evil emotion to
Overcome me
About you
You mean too much
I care so much
About you
I want so badly for you
I can't take much more of this
I need you by my side
So we can share a love once shared
It can never hurt to try
Chorus
A time to cry
A time to die
Emotions going into
Overdrive
You're faced with fear of hurt
Of losing someone you love
Remember you can turn to me
Because...
It was I who
Really loved and really cared
Remember it was I who
you loved despite your fear
Chorus
A time to cry
A time to die
Emotions going into
Overdrive
A time to dream
A time to scream
Emotions yearning to be
Free
Chorus x2 fade out
11/17/2010
Good Music
Just some good music I thought I'd share. More will be added all the time :)
"Take Me There"--Rascal Flatts
~This song is cute and is one of those songs where you just sit there thinking ' I wonder if anyone would truly be honest with me about all these things'
"Wheels"--Foo Fighters
~I've liked this song for a long time. First, it has a catchy tune and it's almost explaining how things always go on, even if they seem like they are ending.
"Fed up"--Am Taxi
~I heard this song for the first time yesterday and I liked it a lot. The vocals are good and in my opinion, the drums are great too :)
"Marry Me"--Train
~I'd advise you not to listen to this song unless you are a huge fan of train, you like slower music, and/or you found the one for you. Haha, I love this song personally but I could see how a lot of others would find it down right annoying.
"Tonight we feel Alive"--Four Year Strong
~I saw Four Year Strong in concert in 2008 and they were amazing. This song is one of those songs me and my friends would listen to and just drink, drink, drink, lol :P And get a lil rowdy too.
"Spoon"--Underdog
~This song gives me so many flashbacks on the days where me and my friends first met and had the time of our lives.
"Another way To Die"--Disturbed
~Disturbed is amazing. What more do I have to say? Haha :)
"Champagne Supernova"--Oasis
~Who doesn't know this song? ...IDIOTS!
"Take Me There"--Rascal Flatts
~This song is cute and is one of those songs where you just sit there thinking ' I wonder if anyone would truly be honest with me about all these things'
"Wheels"--Foo Fighters
~I've liked this song for a long time. First, it has a catchy tune and it's almost explaining how things always go on, even if they seem like they are ending.
"Fed up"--Am Taxi
~I heard this song for the first time yesterday and I liked it a lot. The vocals are good and in my opinion, the drums are great too :)
"Marry Me"--Train
~I'd advise you not to listen to this song unless you are a huge fan of train, you like slower music, and/or you found the one for you. Haha, I love this song personally but I could see how a lot of others would find it down right annoying.
"Tonight we feel Alive"--Four Year Strong
~I saw Four Year Strong in concert in 2008 and they were amazing. This song is one of those songs me and my friends would listen to and just drink, drink, drink, lol :P And get a lil rowdy too.
"Spoon"--Underdog
~This song gives me so many flashbacks on the days where me and my friends first met and had the time of our lives.
"Another way To Die"--Disturbed
~Disturbed is amazing. What more do I have to say? Haha :)
"Champagne Supernova"--Oasis
~Who doesn't know this song? ...IDIOTS!
11/16/2010
Songs that describe me
These songs describe me...For the most part.
If you know me very well, you'll be able to tell which lines are the opposite of me, haha. There are only a couple, though.
~Ashley
Get Tangled Up in me --Skye Sweetnam
You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine
I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
You wanna know more, more, more about me
Gotta know reverse psychology
I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep
I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
You think that you know me
You think that I'm only
When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you
You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
.............................
Her Eyes--Pat Monahan
She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all
If they fit right.
She's a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part.
She's old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she's in over her head,
Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead, and doesn't take meds.
She's a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don't agree with her half the time,
But, damn I'm glad she's mine.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.
Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives,
Scares me to death when she thinks and drives,
Says cowboy hats make her look fat,
and I'm so glad she's mine.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
She doesn't know the word 'impossible'
Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're goin' to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain't easy.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.
And sometimes I think she's truly crazy.
And I love it.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
If you know me very well, you'll be able to tell which lines are the opposite of me, haha. There are only a couple, though.
~Ashley
Get Tangled Up in me --Skye Sweetnam
You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl who's kicking the coke machine
I'm the one that's honking at you cuz I left late again
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
You wanna know more, more, more about me
Gotta know reverse psychology
I'm the reason why you can't get to sleep
I'm the girl you never get just quite what you see
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away, Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
You think that you know me
You think that I'm only
When everything I do is only to get tangled up in you
You wanna know more, more, more about me
I'm the girl that's sweeping you off your feet
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Could you see I want you by the way I push you away Ya!
Don't judge me tomorrow by the way I'm acting today
Mix the words up with the actions do it all for your reaction, Ya!
Hey! Hey!
Get tangled up in me
.............................
Her Eyes--Pat Monahan
She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
When she gets paid, true religion gets it all
If they fit right.
She's a little bit manic, completely organic
Doesn't panic for the most part.
She's old enough to know, and young enough not to say no
To any chance that she gets for home plate tickets to see the Mets.
Like everybody, she's in over her head,
Dreads Feds, Grateful Dead, and doesn't take meds.
She's a Gemini Capricorn
Thinks all men are addicted to porn.
I don't agree with her half the time,
But, damn I'm glad she's mine.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
She got the kinda strength that every man wishes he had.
She loved Michael Jackson up until he made Bad.
Tells me that she lives about a hundred lives,
Scares me to death when she thinks and drives,
Says cowboy hats make her look fat,
and I'm so glad she's mine.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
She doesn't know the word 'impossible'
Don't care where I've been and doesn't care where we're goin' to.
She takes me as I am, and that ain't easy.
She's beautiful. So beautiful.
And sometimes I think she's truly crazy.
And I love it.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
Her eyes, that's where hope lies.
That's where blue skies
Always meet the sunrise.
Her eyes, that's where I go
When I go home.
She's not afraid; she just likes to use her night light
Big News-MTV
I'm sure you all have heard of the show "Made" that airs what seems like all the time on MTV. Well, this morning I heard on the announcements that the producers are coming to my high school to interview potential people to work hard toward their dreams for a month straight. I am actually seriously considering taking part in an interview in a couple days. I guess they video tape you and stuff and then ask you a few questions about what goal you would like to work toward. If I had to pick one, it'd be between singing and acting or maybe both. However, doing both of those at the same time seems like a lot of work for me, haha.
So, yesterday I was watching "The World Of Jenks". I think that show is also on MTV but I'm not positive. Anyway, Andrew Jenks was following the life of a comedian in this episode. It made me think that maybe I wanna be a comedian someday. People laugh at me all the time....wait....I hope they aren't laughing AT me...hmm. Haha, see? I made you laugh, right? Okay, maybe not but whatever. It's kind of hard to find humor in text I suppose. I think the only reason people laugh at my jokes is because I make stupid jokes seem funny by making ridiculous facial expressions and I laugh like a freak. I don't know. I want to do a lot of things in my life before I die. And that leads me to my next tv show..
"The Buried Life"...also on MTV I think. Don't quote me on that, haha. But, the episode yesterday was all the guys from The Buried Life, crashing a parade. They dressed in purple suits and danced like idiots. But I must admit, it was pretty hot :P In the Buried Life, they go around doing all the things they want to do before they die. A bucketlist. I should probably make one of those eventually. There are so many things I want to do. I don't know if I could accomplish all of it. And most of the things that I want to do are things I can't do until I'm 18. I won't be 18 until June..SUCKS, right?
Enough about television. So how am I doing? Just fabulous. Weird, cuz I am pretty sure just the other week I was miserable. Something changed. I don't know. But I am on top of the world right now. And no, I am NOT on drugs :)
Do you think I could be bipolar? My best friend, Sam thinks I might be. My mom and my grandma are. And I'm pretty sure my dad might be bipolar, too, but I wouldn't know because I don't see him or talk to him. There are so many different types of bipolar disorder. It's pretty hard to self-diagnose, but I think I'll try anyway. I think I might have Cyclothymia. It's a more mild form of Bipolar disorder. It makes a person change in moods from milder depression to hypomania. Mania is like...super happiness, haha. It leads someone to make very grand decisions. I don't think I ever get manic completely. Hmm..it says: "People with cyclothymia are more likely to have relatives with bipolar disorder and vice versa." That's interesting! I have all the symptoms, too. I can't be sure, but I could possibly have Cyclothymia. How wonderful.
So, yesterday I was watching "The World Of Jenks". I think that show is also on MTV but I'm not positive. Anyway, Andrew Jenks was following the life of a comedian in this episode. It made me think that maybe I wanna be a comedian someday. People laugh at me all the time....wait....I hope they aren't laughing AT me...hmm. Haha, see? I made you laugh, right? Okay, maybe not but whatever. It's kind of hard to find humor in text I suppose. I think the only reason people laugh at my jokes is because I make stupid jokes seem funny by making ridiculous facial expressions and I laugh like a freak. I don't know. I want to do a lot of things in my life before I die. And that leads me to my next tv show..
"The Buried Life"...also on MTV I think. Don't quote me on that, haha. But, the episode yesterday was all the guys from The Buried Life, crashing a parade. They dressed in purple suits and danced like idiots. But I must admit, it was pretty hot :P In the Buried Life, they go around doing all the things they want to do before they die. A bucketlist. I should probably make one of those eventually. There are so many things I want to do. I don't know if I could accomplish all of it. And most of the things that I want to do are things I can't do until I'm 18. I won't be 18 until June..SUCKS, right?
Enough about television. So how am I doing? Just fabulous. Weird, cuz I am pretty sure just the other week I was miserable. Something changed. I don't know. But I am on top of the world right now. And no, I am NOT on drugs :)
Do you think I could be bipolar? My best friend, Sam thinks I might be. My mom and my grandma are. And I'm pretty sure my dad might be bipolar, too, but I wouldn't know because I don't see him or talk to him. There are so many different types of bipolar disorder. It's pretty hard to self-diagnose, but I think I'll try anyway. I think I might have Cyclothymia. It's a more mild form of Bipolar disorder. It makes a person change in moods from milder depression to hypomania. Mania is like...super happiness, haha. It leads someone to make very grand decisions. I don't think I ever get manic completely. Hmm..it says: "People with cyclothymia are more likely to have relatives with bipolar disorder and vice versa." That's interesting! I have all the symptoms, too. I can't be sure, but I could possibly have Cyclothymia. How wonderful.
11/12/2010
Think Twice
Written for my friend Jessica Daubon who is going through some tough stuff, but also towards someone who is no longer in my life.
Freedom is my right
Lay off and let me fight
I'm stronger than you think
I will not sink
Forever in a battle
It's nothing I can't handle
With the right mind set
I'm not done yet
Try and tear me off my pedestal, please
You have the notion it'll be a breeze
But I'll put up both my fists to you
And beat you til I say we're through
I know exactly why I'm here
It's to show people to not live in fear
So I'll be a role model and persevere
And not stop until it's completely clear
You think I'm insane
But you're the one without a brain
If you think you can defeat me
Go ahead; try and beat me
I'm only here to do what I'm meant to
What is it you're meant to do?
Break me down and smile?
You could only live with that for a while.
You're nothing more than a coward
Your fake courage has turned sour
Be true to who you really are
And soon you'll be a rising star
Have I made you think twice?
Yes, I have, so roll the dice
Choose a different path
Or you will pay the price.
~Ashley Jackson
Freedom is my right
Lay off and let me fight
I'm stronger than you think
I will not sink
Forever in a battle
It's nothing I can't handle
With the right mind set
I'm not done yet
Try and tear me off my pedestal, please
You have the notion it'll be a breeze
But I'll put up both my fists to you
And beat you til I say we're through
I know exactly why I'm here
It's to show people to not live in fear
So I'll be a role model and persevere
And not stop until it's completely clear
You think I'm insane
But you're the one without a brain
If you think you can defeat me
Go ahead; try and beat me
I'm only here to do what I'm meant to
What is it you're meant to do?
Break me down and smile?
You could only live with that for a while.
You're nothing more than a coward
Your fake courage has turned sour
Be true to who you really are
And soon you'll be a rising star
Have I made you think twice?
Yes, I have, so roll the dice
Choose a different path
Or you will pay the price.
~Ashley Jackson
How?
How can you live If you never forgive?
How can you move on,
If you don't repair that bond?
How can you hold a grudge,
against the one person you loved?
Does it makes sense,
To always be on defense?
How can you be content,
Without knowing what they really meant?
How can you push people away,When inside you are begging them to stay?
Tell me..How?
~Ashley Jackson
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