written before I knew you, but it pertains to the way you may have felt about me toward the end of our relationship. I'm sorry, but now you know I felt this too at one point in my life.
I don't think I can do this
Not anymore
Maybe you meant well
But we're not compatible
You're throwing my feelings
Up in the air
You say you still love me
but you made it clear..
You don't care
Baby, I'm not blind.
Baby, I can see.
That you're:
Using the best of me
Well you can't get the rest of me
Because I'm falling, falling
Into this black hole of silence
Where I have found the new, improved me.
No, you can't get the best of me
Anymore
You think I don't notice you
When you go out late at night
You're such a f****** fool, you see
I know what you don't think I know
That you're:
(Repeat chorus)
Why have me hang around
When I'm not allowed to make a sound
I'm drowning in your insults
You're dragging me down
You're the devil's messenger
Evil from birth
You are quite f******* disturbed.
~Ashley Jackson
10/31/2010
"It's only life"
January 21st 2010
Stamina, strength, and faith
It's what you will develop
Just give it time and I promise
You'll get what you wanted
Inside you feel like dying
Outside you try and play it cool
But you know I'm not a fool
Things are starting to get to you
Deep breaths will help
Until you let me back in
It's all gonna be okay
Otherwise it's not the end
You built me up to here
Scared away all my fears
Baby, know when I'm not near
You don't need to shed a tear
None of this is your fault
This was bound to happen from the start
Things can only get better
If she wants to cry, let her
It's just a part of life
Everything's always changing
Everything's rearranging
Just step back from that knife...
It's only life.
~Ashley Jackson
Stamina, strength, and faith
It's what you will develop
Just give it time and I promise
You'll get what you wanted
Inside you feel like dying
Outside you try and play it cool
But you know I'm not a fool
Things are starting to get to you
Deep breaths will help
Until you let me back in
It's all gonna be okay
Otherwise it's not the end
You built me up to here
Scared away all my fears
Baby, know when I'm not near
You don't need to shed a tear
None of this is your fault
This was bound to happen from the start
Things can only get better
If she wants to cry, let her
It's just a part of life
Everything's always changing
Everything's rearranging
Just step back from that knife...
It's only life.
~Ashley Jackson
"I hate you"
Brain is dead
Heart is cold.
I must confess
This is getting old.
Tired of lies
Take off that disguise
Who the hell are you?
Again, I cry.
Don't play games
This is love, isn't it?
Tell me straight
Is this not fate?
We were brought together
Cleared the rainy weather
Expected to float down like a feather
Not this time...no, not ever.
Because I always lose
It's not like I can choose
Whether you break my trust
I think it's more than lust
I think I love you
But how do I know?
How do I know
You didn't put on a show?
Either way, though
You've closed the curtain
Gotta move on,
no matter how bad I'm hurtin'
Its not worth the time
You're not worth a dime
You committed a crime
And for that you shall die
Fall straight to hell
Smell that rotten smell?
It's my weak heart...
The one you tore apart.
Take it with you
No use for it here
Let me make it clear:
I hate you, too.
~ashley jackson
Heart is cold.
I must confess
This is getting old.
Tired of lies
Take off that disguise
Who the hell are you?
Again, I cry.
Don't play games
This is love, isn't it?
Tell me straight
Is this not fate?
We were brought together
Cleared the rainy weather
Expected to float down like a feather
Not this time...no, not ever.
Because I always lose
It's not like I can choose
Whether you break my trust
I think it's more than lust
I think I love you
But how do I know?
How do I know
You didn't put on a show?
Either way, though
You've closed the curtain
Gotta move on,
no matter how bad I'm hurtin'
Its not worth the time
You're not worth a dime
You committed a crime
And for that you shall die
Fall straight to hell
Smell that rotten smell?
It's my weak heart...
The one you tore apart.
Take it with you
No use for it here
Let me make it clear:
I hate you, too.
~ashley jackson
"Won't Go Back"
Confusion within
I cannot win
Fight til I fall
Death calls
Wet eyes,
Louder cries,
Red hands,
Buried under land.
When will you save me?
I've got no where to go
I am wounded daily
It's a bloody show.
When can I rest?
Blood shot eyes
I don't ask for the best,
But don't feed me lies.
When will this stop?
The continuous pain
From bottom to top
Dark red blood stains
When will I be free? (x2)
To just be
Me
I am not in control
I fell into a hole
I fell into a hole
I'm destined to fail
I fell off the trail
I cannot choose
Anything but booze
I'm not me anymore
My heart is torn
Evil has taken over me
Nothing left here to see
But grief and anger
To you, I'm a danger
Don't leave me behind
Myself I will find
Give me time
To let me shine
Now hold me close to your heart
A better future we'll start
Don't ask me how
But I promise you now
I won't go back
It was only strength I lacked
~Ashley Jackson
10/23/2010
New Song: "Soul Bearer"
3:00AM
10-23-10
The hands that hold the future
Reach for the light in your soul
It leads you to where you're supposed to be
Wait no longer, child, you hold the key.
See the light glaring, faint at first
It grows stronger and brighter
Look to the sky
Don't you cry; be a fighter.
Don't be afraid to cross boundaries
If they need to be crossed
You are on your own, pay attention
And you won't get lost.
Stay silent so no one hears
Your cry of joy with flowing tears
Mysteries are all revealed
You've broken the seal.
You hold ultimate power in you
Sunlight melting the blackness
You soul is clean and refreshed
So fresh, it burns your flesh.
Glazed over eyes
And still you're silent
Staring at your reflection
You feel a connection
You know who you are
And what you're meant to be
Now go live your life, child
You're released back into the wild.
~Ashley M. Jackson
10-23-10
The hands that hold the future
Reach for the light in your soul
It leads you to where you're supposed to be
Wait no longer, child, you hold the key.
See the light glaring, faint at first
It grows stronger and brighter
Look to the sky
Don't you cry; be a fighter.
Don't be afraid to cross boundaries
If they need to be crossed
You are on your own, pay attention
And you won't get lost.
Stay silent so no one hears
Your cry of joy with flowing tears
Mysteries are all revealed
You've broken the seal.
You hold ultimate power in you
Sunlight melting the blackness
You soul is clean and refreshed
So fresh, it burns your flesh.
Glazed over eyes
And still you're silent
Staring at your reflection
You feel a connection
You know who you are
And what you're meant to be
Now go live your life, child
You're released back into the wild.
~Ashley M. Jackson
10/19/2010
Rachel's Challenge
A Rachel's Challenge speaker came to my school today.
Have any of you heard about Rachel Joy Scott? Honestly, I had no idea about her until today. Rachel was the first victim killed in the Columbine shooting in 1999. I'm sure some of you remember that. Well, I sat and watched a presentation about her life for an hour and a half. For all of you who want to change your life in a positive way, I strongly urge you to go to this website:
http://www.rachelschallenge.org/
Start a chain reaction...I am.
"Don't let your character change color with its environment. Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors."
-Rachel Joy Scott
Have any of you heard about Rachel Joy Scott? Honestly, I had no idea about her until today. Rachel was the first victim killed in the Columbine shooting in 1999. I'm sure some of you remember that. Well, I sat and watched a presentation about her life for an hour and a half. For all of you who want to change your life in a positive way, I strongly urge you to go to this website:
http://www.rachelschallenge.org/
Start a chain reaction...I am.
"Don't let your character change color with its environment. Find who you are and let it stay in its true colors."
-Rachel Joy Scott
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